5 Tips To Help You Write An Online Dating Message That Gets Noticed


Although most people still prefer traditional dating, online dating still works wonders for many people. I am a testimony to the fact that online dating works given the fact that I met my husband online.

He made the first move after seeing my profile, but to be honest his profile didn’t really grab my attention. (Sorry, hunny! 🙂 )

It was a typical online profile with basic information. Nothing out of the norm.

His first message was however what got my attention. Come to think of it, it wasn’t a flirty message or anything explicit.

It wasn’t even a clever message. But it still worked wonders for me.

It was clear my current husband had gone through my profile in detail. He didn’t just go through my photos. He went further and read everything.

Out of what he gathered, he sent me a brief message that commented on some of the things he had read. It was that simple. He didn’t have to flirt or be smart about the message. He only had to be real.

Although my husband’s first message to me was flattering, it wasn’t explicit or personal. Before meeting my husband online, most of the first messages I was receiving online were personal and flirty. My husband however checked out my profile and commented about my visit to Africa saying that he really liked my anecdote and he was interested in hearing more about my experience there.

That did it for me. He didn’t have to struggle to get a coffee date.

I thought I’d share my experiences to let all men know what works when it comes to sending the first message in online dating. Below are some effective tips.

1. Be yourself

This is by far the most important tip to consider. You shouldn’t worry too much about being funny, cute, witty, clever etc. If it’s not in you to be funny, don’t try too hard.

Authenticity is a very important factor in online dating so stay away from common messages. Set yourself apart by being yourself when sending your first message.

2. Take a few notes and pay attention to details

This is another important tip to consider. Instead of just rushing through someone’s photos and sending a message hurriedly, pay attention to the fine print i.e. the story behind the pictures, interests etc.

My husband got my attention because of going through my profile thoroughly. Most guys don’t do this.

If you want your first message to stand out, pay attention to details and comment on the most important things you pick.

3. Relate

It’s also important to try and find something that both of you can relate with. My husband and I love traveling. He checked out my profile and discovered that about me.

He went ahead and crafted his first message to me based on our commonality. It was a perfect time to mention it.

4. Keep it brief and concise

Your first message should also be short, sweet and straight to the point.

It’s important to note that most people have short attention spans when it comes to reading messages from strangers. This is precisely why you should avoid sending long messages at all costs. Your first message should be concise.

5. Ask a question

One of the best ways of initiating a conversation is to use questions. Your first message in online dating should always include a question to make it easy for the other person to respond.

It can be funny, creative, totally off the wall, or even just a “getting to know you” type of question. The idea is to give them something they can quickly respond to without having to stress over figuring out what to say.

Sending your first message in online dating doesn’t have to be a daunting task.

Just be yourself, pay attention to details, relate, send a brief and concise message, and remember to ask a question. When you do this, you will greatly increase your chances of getting a response.